In the still

Sunday, March 26, 2006

It is too quiet. I want to make some noise. Maybe it is better to be still though.

After all the relatiohship and career drama in the past few weeks, suddenly quiet feels unusual and strange. I was almosed used to the chaos to such an extent that the stillness feels awkward. I am no more alone than I was a year ago, a month ago, a week ago. But for the first time in a long while, I am noticing that I am alone. When I sit still long enough and breathe deeply enough, I notice. And it is taking me longer than it used to to remember the Creator, the eternal Lover, is waiting on me to turn and look at Him.

As the clutter is swept away and my vision comes back into focus, I can't remember what I was looking for nor decide what I want to be looking for. All I know is that I haven't found it.

Confusion ensues.

About time I had a roommate to distract me. Or a dog. But I am going to try not to get antsy and just distract myself with a man this time. I know I need the quiet, however strange and uncomfortable it might feel. It is good for me.
6:42 PM