My mother is dealing with the loss of one of her longest friendships. Death is scary and painful and mean. There is nothing more shocking and cruel than sudden death. I know that dealing with this loss will take a while. More than weeks and months. Longer than you really realize. Eight years later you still are pained to think of what happened. I know about losing friends. I wish that I hadn’t lost so many. I know that I have experience and can share in her pain, but really there isn’t much to say. You just have to go through it. Let it hit you and then sink in, then be angry and deal with the unfair facts. Then cry all of the tears you have. And then let your mind be occupied by other things for a while, to break up the pain and deal with it in smaller pieces. Have fun in between the sessions of redebating the meaning of life and what our priorities are vs. what they should be. Enjoy the rest of your frinds and family that you still have. Laugh at those stupid meaningless moments that now have meaning and serve you in your grief. I am tired of people dying. I don’t look forward to being older when instead of all of your friends getting married off, which is what I groan about now, they are all gone. Totally gone. And then you look around at all the young people and think about how meaningless the drama of youth really is. And wish to be back there at the same time.
I vow to live with meaning. with purpose. I vow to love and enjoy while I have the chance. Life is so short. Time to call mom.
This entry was posted on Friday, March 25th, 2005 at 8:10 pm
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